hello my lovely readers (if there are any of the scant few of you left)

it is I, Lili, the long-lost writer of this lonesome little blog which i am sorry to say that I have abandoned for the past, what is it, one, two, daren't i say THREE whole months?

i could try to explain my absence to the exams of the three horrible AP classes that I took this year, or the looooong SAT tests i had to endure, or the millions of finals i've had to take, or even the apparent falling apart of my large loving family I used to have, but nay I'll restrain. those are just a long list of excuses, and once you fall into using those lovely buggers your whole life can become one terrible excuse after another.

So what have I been doing with my life as of yet? (i'll imagine you ask) well, i'll tell you my friends.

On the very last day of school, i found out that the ministry director at my school, the great Mr. McG. is leaving to become the vice principle of another school--his alma mater in fact. This really hit me hard. I had been so looking forward to getting to know him better next year especially in his famous (at my school) senior religion class. Also, when Tim, the youth minister at my school, left LAST year, I lost a lot of my, like spiritual and inspirational guidance, i think are the words i'm looking for. But you see, i still had McG at my school to keep me encouraged and inspired to emmerce myself in expanding my spiritual self and doing good for the world. And now, he's leaving too. So it's like, all these people who i had held so high in my life are leaving, and i'm so scared that i'm gonna lose whatever i had left.

I'm sure many of you think, after reading a bunch of my posts, that i'm one of those annoying, whiney teens who think that the world is this hellish place or something. But i assure you this is not the case. In fact, I am awed every day with the beauty of the world. Just think: where we could have only one flat monatonous terrain, we have hills and valleys and lakes and oceans. Where we could have been given a plain brown sky, we instead have one that come in all different hues of blue dotted here and there with white fluffy clouds, all reflecting the color of the water. Not only that, but this sky even changes COLORS! We have a sun AND a moon, AND stars, trees and flours, dirt and rocks and bugs and animals and friends and families. I mean really, can you think of anything more to ask for? my gosh!

So anyway, rather than choosing to wallow in my own grief over this feeling of loss of outside guidance, after talking with one of my best friends Emily, (although, to give myself some credit, too, this thought had already crossed my mind but was set in stone after talking with her), i've realized that this now means that I must draw from within myself my OWN inspiration. my own knowledge and crazy thoughts. So, this summer, i am rounding myself in all aspects:

I'm becoming more responsible: i brush and floss my teeth twice a day, I'm excercizing and eating healthy WOOHOO! and i'm not gonna let myself get bored or lazy.

And i'm reading. like a ton. I've already read one book that was just a little silly adventure/romance book, that i really liked, and now i'm moving on to more knowledge and thought provoking books. Right now, i am reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and i've gotta tell you, i'm absolutely LOVING every page, everu word of it.

I'm sure most of you have already heard of this book, especially now that it's being turned into a move and especially because it has the famous Julia Roberts and James Franco in it, but i had no idea. I was just on this website, looking for a book, and a picture of EPL's front cover popped up, and, after reading a short summary of it, i thought that it was interesting and bought it. It was only after, when i was talking about recieving it with my friend Marissa that i learned of its fame.

I've become more responsible in terms of this book, too: i already knew that i REALLY want to expand my vocabulary, so i've been good and i read this book with a dictionary and a bunch of note cards. on the cards, i write words that i've never known or that pop out at me even if i do know them but want to start using them. Words like diaphonous (transparent or translucent), kalos kai agathos (Greek for singular balance of the good and the beautiful) and schizo. I've also made a list of some of the people she mentions that I would like to learn more about, like Katharine Hepburn and Boccaccio and Bono and Eleanor Roosevelt, as well as some of the food that i want to try to make like Pasta alla Carbonera with sauteed spinach and garlic. It's made the reading go a lot slower but it's worth it, trust me.

Man, i have SO much more to say, but this post is already humoungously long, so i won't keep you. and i'll write the rest later.

Au revoire!

~Lili