THESE! i want these.

Sale price: 22.450,- Kr.



i don't understand the price. what does it mean? if you do understand, please, comment and enlighten me. much obliged

~Lili

Things I Absolutely MUST Do In 2010

...and if i don't...just please help me make sure I do. Much obliged.

• start sewing. I'm planning on starting with some cute aprons because I already have the material, and then I'm going to make a pair of floury shorts for my friend Kelly and I.
• start a chapstick line with my friend Marissa in order to get money for....shopping. Yeah. we're gonna be the next teen business starters you see on Chanel One. Lord.
• start my garden in the back yard that I already have planned out in my head
• FINISH my room. It's gonna be perfect.
• start dressing in the way the styles and outfits that I've already created in my head
  

side note: gosh I have all these plans in my head! If only they would turn into a reality.

• start legit photography... ask my uncle where I can acquire a nice camera for cheap
• bike ride
• expand my baking to cooking so that people will actually eat my stuff without worrying about silly calories and shtuff
• llllllllllllllllllllll. that was Hazel's (my new kitty) doing. love her to pieces
• make a bunch of hair pieces
• get overalls, decorate my straw hat, learn how to embroider, embroider gloves... then use all of this to garden in my garden
• take a pottery class
• start being more creative. As always, I want to be more creative!
• stop being lazy and go to the park and have fun
• get my license
  
• get a gym membership...and then actually use it...more than once.
  
• become more patient with certain people
• find a place that I can drive to that's secret, all mine. an escape.

this list will be continued as I think of more things
I love you, and a very Merry New Year to all.
I can't believe we're entering a new decade!

Inspiration

In my many moments of procrastination, such as my writing at this very second, I like to think that I am really using my time wisely by sifting through the world wide web. In my long and arduous traveling of the Internet I search for things that inspire thought and wonder and creativity and action.
One result of my searches appears in one of my very first blog posts: the slam poetry performance by Anis Mosjani.
Here's another site that I have found courtesy of my fellow procrastinator, Kelsie Fierce.

http://photoholic.tumblr.com/

one of my favorite pictures from the cite is:



the caption under was:

“Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.”

—Niels Bohr

Mary Lee Lingeman -- My Grandma

exactly one year ago today, my grandmother passed away.
I can't believe it's already been that long.
I remember that for a long time, I had trouble saying death or die or dying or any variation of the word...which sucked because, at the time, I was reading a book in my religion class about death that called for tons of essays. I couldn't even write the word.

I can honestly say that there hasn't been one day that hasn't gone by that i haven't thought about my grandma.

The night it happened, I remember my mom got a phone call from my aunt saying that my grandma was in the hospital, and it was pretty serious; I asked my mom if i could go with her to see grandma, but she told me i should stay and study for my chem test. Instead, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 5:00, panicked, because I realized that i hadn't even started studying.
I went to the kitchen and saw that my mom's purse was on the counter, and thought "Mom's back, so Grandma must be o.k," and continued with my early morning study routine.
At around 6:45, my dad woke up and summoned my brothers and me to the boys' room and said he had to talk to us. I remember thinking, "What if my dad's about to tell us Grandma's dead?" And then discarding that thought with, "Psh, Grandma's healthy and active. She just fainted, that's all, like last year. Besides, if that were true, my mom would be the one to tell us. Dad hates Grandma."

We gathered around the room, Eddie, Sam, my Dad, and me, and my Dad said, "Kids, last night, Grandma died." My mind went blank. What? no! My mom came into the room then and she was crying and everything was confirmed.
I didn't want to stay at home. I had to get out. I went to school to take my chem test that I wasn't prepared for in the slightest, and told my friends what happened. I remember wishing that my best friend would just hug me and say anything to make me feel better, but i could tell she just felt really awkward. So I couldn't stay at school. I called my dad, and when we got home, the boys were playing game cube. That just PISSED me off. I slammed the door and went to my room and didn't come out for hours.
I didn't go one day without crying for months.

The last time I saw her, i was at her house and she was in the back room cutting my grandpa's hair. At least I have a good final memory.

She was the best grandma anyone could ever ask for. She never forgot birthdays, though she had 8 kids, and 8 sons-and-daughters-in-law, and over 24 grand kids. She had a jar of candy that she always let you choose from. She made fudge every Christmas. She made fucking jam o.k.? How can you beat this.

I have so many memories that have my Grandma in them and I can't believe that I'll never have any more. Sometimes, I still forget that she's no longer here. But I like to think that she still watches over me. That she was there at my Confirmation where she was supposed to be my sponsor. That she's gonna be there at my Junior Ring Ceremony and my Graduation and all the other important events she would never miss.

I love you Grandma, and I could never ever forget you. You will always be in my heart and I will forever be your loving granddaughter.


~Lili

p.s. song of the day: Congratulations by Blue October. It's the song I listened to when she left.


about the picture: in case you didn't know: the heart is the one my grandma gave me, and the cross is from a retreat i went on. I only just stopped wearing it every day.

iHate

when people have a problem having to do with me
and tell everyone in the world about it....except me.
just tell me what's wrong! nothings gonna get better till we talk about it and realize what's going on. in fact, it will just get worse and worse and more problems will be adding up 'till soon you'll be irratated by the way someone, i don't know, scratches their head or something.
i'm more than happy to admit that I'm doing something wrong or acting weird if you face up and tell me about it.
gee dang!

The Joy of Cooking

Hello readers... or rather, the readers that I sometimes imagine there are out there.
Today, my mother and I went on our first girls day out, in which we watched a movie just by ourselves, ever, in the more than fifteen years that I have known her.
If you haven't guessed by the title of this blog, the movie we saw was Julie&Julia with Meryl Streep playing Julia child and Amy Adams playing Julie (whose last name is failing to come to my brain at the moment). I will not tell you the summary of the movie because you can easily look that up on google if you so choose.
My mom decided to take me to it because I've been encouraging her to do something for herself because she's been a bit depressed lately and she knew that I LOVE to bake and she has a great knack for cooking herself. So, you know, it made sense to see it because it was a story that we could both relate to. Let me tell you. The movie was AMAZING and i strongly encourage you to see it even if you don't cook or bake.
We've decided that we are going to do our own Julia Child cooking experiment, and are getting the book tomorrow. We won't make a deadline or try to cook every SINGLE thing as Julie did, but still, it should be fun.
Anyways, I got to thinking, and I'm not much different from Julie Lastname myself. I mean, I love to write. I have a blog, sure I hardly use it, but it's still here. And I absolutely love baking. I want to open a bakery when I get older. So what if I tried to do the same thing she did? Not to steal her glory or anything but just to do it for fun. Make something, majorly fail or have an epic win of home-made delight, and blog about the experience. It could be like a generational thing. And it could be great.
So, yes, no? I think even if you say no, I'll probably do it, even if I just write about it in the safety of my journal or windows folder.



Song of the day, taken from one of my new favorite movies: A Bushel and a Peck by Doris Day.
LISTEN TO IT. it will undoubtedly make you happy. You won't be able to resist a smile when you listen to it. Promise.


Until next time
Love,
Lili
p.s. Powell! That's what her last name was. Oh the beauty of google.

2008-2009. Year of the Roller Coaster.

As we embrace another season of summer, you also begin to realize that the year is coming to an end. What have you done this year? Have you met all the goals and expectations you had coming into it?
For me, this year was a roller coaster ride. Roller coaster. Those two words seem to pop up in all my writing these days, but it always seems to fit. I mean, think about it. There's always a balance. There's never going to be an endless period of bad time, but on the other hand, it's not going to be forever happiness. There's never an up without a down, a down without an up. It's like Newton's theory of gravity (that was Newton right?) only applied to life. Though this year has definitely been one of the toughest in my life, I also must say that it's been one of the greatest and fantastic. Because, yes, I have had so many depressing things happen, but I've handled them. I've experienced more this year then I have in an entire lifetime. And really, what more can you ask for? It's unrealistic to always be wishing and hoping for endless bliss. Didn't humanity as a whole pretty much shoot down the idea of a Utopia? As much as everyone always wishes for it, you're just making your life harder than it has to be. By realizing that you are having a great time, you are happy. You know that it's not always gonna last, but the point is, the down time won't last either.
So I say, figure out who you love and you can rely on and surround yourself with them. They will be the people to share your laughter. To experience with you your most horrific moments. They will talk to you till 1:00 in the morning until you are both too exhausted to utter another syllable, and understand when you don't feel like talking at all. They'll make you happy when you least expect it. But you've gotta realize it when it's happening. Because part of those friends being there for you is realizing that they're there. And knowing that you can and will be there for them even when you can't even think of the right words to say to make them happy. Because sometimes, sometimes a smile or a hug or a random word or an awkward action is all it takes.


This year I:

• celebrated my brother's 7th birthday(isn't that a holy number?)...then lost my grandma the next day
• almost went out on my first date with a cute boy...which then ended 5 minutes before my birthday
• died my hair (well a strip of it) for the first time...then chopped it off for bald people
• grew really close to my youth minister...then found out he's moving to Arizona
• got my braces off....then got two cavities (I hadn't had cavities in over 3 years dangit!)
• got better grades then my brother for the first time in my LIFE
• finally got confirmed and loved it....then got my first stitches on the very same night thanks to what i like to call "The Death Brownies"...and then made them again the very next day
• realized that one of my biggest problems is that i am an EXTREMELY jealous person...but had an epiphany just the other day that, actually, that I am a really cool person, a good friend, reliable, trustworthy, I know when to laugh and when to be serious, and even if the rest of the world doesn't realize it, that's O.K. with me because I know it.
• I realized who my friends are. They are my security blanket. Because even if I don't know who I am, who I am is good enough for them. And let me tell you, they are better than good enough for me. You have all touched me in ways that you don't even know. Even those of you who I rarely talk to, sometime's your jokes and kind words are all that keeps me going through the day, through the month, through the year.

Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high on
When I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time

Step from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe it, we rely on
When I lay it on come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

~Anthony Kiedis

It's Clobberin Time!

Crunch Crunch Crunch
it's time for finals and NOBODY i know is in the mood for studying
wish all the students you know good luck
'cause we're gonna need it.

How To Make Yourself WANT to Clean the House

trust me, it's not as impossible as it sounds.

step 1. get up when you want to get up-not your alarm or your parents or whatever.
step 2. make yourself a really yummy breakfast. I'm talking pancakes, omelets, or cinnamon rolls, fruits, and juice or milk.
step 3. take a shower and make yourself feel fresh. wash your hair shave your legs, (or chin i guess if you're a guy) and sing on the top of your lungs.
step 4. when you get out, look around. and if you're like me, your thinking, "wow, now i feel nice, but my house, yeah, that's gotta get fixed" you're gonna want your house to feel as fresh as you are.
step 5. oh, i forgot, make sure there's no one else in your house but you. no friend no family no nothing. Get your iPod or computer and put your music on shuffle, taking a minute to sing and dance around
step 6. get started. try to finish before everyoone gets home. See if they notice anything. if they
do, sweet. If not, that's cool too. It'll just be your little secret; if no one knows, you'll
never be expected to do it again:)

whoever invented peanut butter is officially a genius.

Link

I FINALLY MADE IT SO THAT THE PEOPLE WHO I'M FOLLOWING CAN CLICK ON MY PICTURE AND SEE MY LINK!!!


YES!

I am SO proud of myself:) I've been trying to do that for like 2 weeks now. haha

Everyone Who's Not Deaf MUST Listen To This...and Pass It On

Slaphappy Meanderings

So yesterday I had a total bonding moment with my cat. Yes, you read that right, I did say my cat. His name is Kitty Kitty, (my sister named him when she was three because she thought it rhymed, but that's another story).
So the night leading into that day, I had gone to bed at 3:45 a.m writing that paper i've previously mentioned, and therefore had only two and a half hours of sleep (sadly, this isn't unusual for me). But that day, lack of sleep coupled with the fact that I've been really depressed lately, and my parents misunderstand the reason to be my essay, I was extremely tired.
I got home wanting nothing more than just to crawl into my bed and sleep for hours and hours. But I had a not unwelcome guest plopped right in the middle of my bed. You guessed it, Kitty Kitty. My cat is getting old -fifteen year old- and spends a vast majority on my bed nowadays.
To get him to move, I laid down and covered him in blankets. I popped my head through under the covers and spent a minute just staring at him and making funny faces, and finally started to pet him.
I felt really proud of myself for making my cat happy until I started realizing that I was falling asleep and patting him really hard. But he was still purring so i figured he was still alive so all's good.
Anyways, while this was all happening, my mom was on the phone and all the sudden she laughed, and i started to think about how actually really weird laughing is. I mean think about all the different laughs you've heard. When did laughing start? Who realized how satisfying it is to show amusement through making this strange sort of chuckling, bubbly noise that sounds unlike any other noise that we make?
I mean, why don't we purr like cats? What if, when we found something funny, we showed it by purring like a cat? Like, whoa that was funny *purr*. This is awkward *purr*
You know, I bet it all has to do with what you grow up around. Sure, babies laugh, but is that because they've seen their parents laugh when they're happy? What if you only purred around your kids. Would they grow up purring instead of laughing? Something to think about.
And please keep in mind that I was falling asleep when I thought of this and resolved to write a blog about it.
But, admit it. You know you're thinking about it too now: a world full of purring instead of laughing.
Love,
Lili
p.s. yes, i did just write a blog about my cat and purring. I take pride in not being normal.

Fail.

Monday, I took advantage of the fact that my Honors American Lit teacher is such an understanding and sweet person, and didn't turn in my essay.
Let me tell you something. I have NEVER not turned in an essay in my life.
FAIL.

Nostalgia

Things that make me nostalgic:
alphabet soup
apples and peanut butter
sewing machines
Simon and Garfunkel
red ruby slippers
certain smells(duh)
Christmas music
when my little brother finds out something new and is extremely excited
Fruit loops
oldies on the radio
Disney movies
paint and big pads of paper
Halloween
when my brothers go flying (i introduced them to that game)
when i see kids driving home from school with their grandmas
hopscotch
chalk
bubbles
barbies
hazelnut coffee
ice cream cones
the smell of banana bread in the morning mixed with the aroma of fresh coffee
meatloaf
stew and biscuits

Second Blog in 1 Day. I Think I'm Starting to Like This. Sorry.

Artist i just found out about this very second: Noah and the Whale.
Next good thing:
making cookies. yes. for two reasons: 1)Your mind is completely absorbed in smashing heck out of those dang eggs and flour and sugar that you can't think about anything else, and therefore won't kill any living thing; and 2) the obvious: you get extremely yummy cookie dough, and eventually cookies (best eaten hot)
And lastly:
I just learned about this blog called 1000 AWESOME things, and right before i went on it, i was hoping that they would have something about cookie dough. Their latest add? you guessed it, COOKIE DOUGH!
Love,
Lili

Good Things

So I've decided that now, to counter that very depressing first post, I'm gonna try to write about one good thing, probably not every day, but lots of days. Yup.
Today, in sixth period, our teacher wasn't here, so we pretty much had a free period (though the chemistry teacher who was subbing tried everything in her power to make this not so).
Me, Emily, Kelsie, and Marissa were sitting next to each other (that's right guys, you are mentioned in my very important blog) and we were pretending to work.
While talking to Marissa about best friend shtuff and listening to great music (she's my enlightener), I also had Emily and Kelsie on the other side of me making complete fools of themselves. After trying to pretend to be annoyed with them, I finally gave in, making weird faces and stupid noises and just being happy. That helped me to remember just how amazingly wonderful my friends are, able to make me laugh and smile even when i REALLY don't even feel like talking. Love you guys
~Lili
p.s. coldplay is the ultimate sanctuary. Trust. Even if you don't like them, when you are going through something tough, put them on, blasting and i swear you will feel a little better.

First

Welcome to the life of Lili.
My first blog. Is gonna be a little depressing because, basically, that's what my life is right now. So that was your warning. If you don't feel like sitting down for a while, reading about my rambling woes, I suggest you stop now.
So here it goes:
Yesterday, I found out that a very good friend of mine's mother and 9 year old sister died.
Oh God. I can't understand how this can happen. This whole year feels like it has been full of death. Do you wanna see my list?
1. My Grandma
2. My good friend Frankie who was the athletic director at my school
3. My parish priest, Father Moretti
4. and now this.
I don't know how to deal with ANY of this. I barely had time to realize that I would never see my Grandma again before the next person passed. And what sucks? I feel like I'm making this all about me. God, this person just effing died-MY life sucks. My friend's never gonna see his mom again-MY life sucks. When am I gonna stop complaining? Even in this gosh dang BLOG I'm complaining about MY life.
I can't stop thinking about Vincent (the kid in my class who lost his mom and sister). God, he started the day thinking it was just a normal day, and then he finds out that his gosh dang mom is GONE. I keep thinking about how Tori (his sister) always said hi to me when I picked up my brothers from school and how I was always so happy that she actually remembered who I am. I keep picturing them in the car, maybe listening to some music, maybe laughing about some gosh dang joke, maybe even arguing, when their mom lost control of the car. Now I'm never gonna say hi to Tori, no one is. She had her whole fucking life ahead of her and now it's gone like a stupid flame on a candle just blown out. And god, you should have heard Vince talking about his sister. He absolutely loved her. He was always so proud of everything she did. And his mom. Gosh you don't know what he's been through even before this and throughout it all, his mom was always there, understanding him no matter what.
You know how when someone you know dies, it's always a reality check where you're like, "Oh my gosh, what am I doing with my gosh dang life? Have I told the people who matter to me that I love them? I've gotta get cracking!" Well I went through that momentarily. Pretty much at EXACTLY the same time Vincent's mother and sister (oh, I forgot to mention that his kindergarten-sister and two-year-old brother were also in the car and are now in critical care) were in their crash, my brother and I were in this intense argument, consisting of both of us making sure that neither of us came away without being extremely hurt. You would think that, like me, he would be thinking I've gotta tell my sister that I'm sorry and that I really love her. But no. I get home, and pretty much the second I walk through the door, he's on a rampage. "Lili, you're so stupid! It's no wonder you have no friends. And you're so lazy, and fat. Why are you so selfish? You won't even give one of your candles to the people who died! Why don't you do anything? All you do is sit around and bake junk. Oh, and you left the oven on again. AS USUAL. No one likes you. You have no friends." Well guess what. What are YOU fucking giving to the people who passed away. They don't even matter to you ass hole.
I don't know what to think. I can't concentrate. My brain feels like it's flipping around and around in crashing waves.
Anyway, I realize that this probably isn't what a blog is supposed to be, but I just needed to get my thoughts out to some place where it will probably never be noticed so at least it's not just trapped in the cage of my brain.
I gotta go. I don't know where, but I can't stand just staying in the gosh dang house for another second. I wish I could just drive into the sunset like in the movies and all my troubles would just blow out into the wind behind me.
I'll write again later. Maybe. About happier things. Hopefully.
Love,
Lili
p.s. smile and be happy. You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow-or even in the next second.